hip

hop

New Names

Right, so here is the first round of suggestions for our new name:

Microsoft
Google
The New York Times
Apple
IMB
3M
WalMart
Yahoo
Samsung
Casio
and
Nintendo

What do you guys think? Too "out there"?

Agend a for the meeting of the new name

1. Introduction talking about whatever interests us
2. Someone will pick a tangent
3. Coffee break
4. Trying to get the screen projector to work
5. Calling I.T.
6. Getting the projector to work
7. Having to run to other meetings, and tabling choosing a new name till next meeting.

NEW BUSINESS NAME

The business needs a new name in order to increase the number of meetings and so that management can feel important.

On lifestyle

I suddenly miss Bill Bryson

We play hardball

And only listen to opinions when we aren't too busy talking about ourselves.

pah

tired

Dear Letter

Dear Letter please mail back my glasses with postage.

Mission Statement

We need to re-structure our mission statement.

How about:

Our mission is to deliver the highest quality products to only the most deserving customers who are sophisticated enough to appreciate it.

Now hiring

Errand person wanted. Experience of running errands is a merit but not required. Reply with photo and sample pastry.

The consultant has been sacked

Also, we got burned out with our "sincere he is really going to work this time" consultant, and sacked him.

That is all.

Alexa Traffic Rank is sky high in week one!

The Alexa Traffic Rank of PMA is already #3,887,412

http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/purplemonkeyapricot.blogspot.com

Management attributes the bagels plus the layoffs. We will soon consider charities to promote on the site. Suggestions are welcome.*

*With the hope that being featured on this site doesn't hurt the charity.

Free bagels

The free bagels are now out. Please get back to work.

/the management

Board Approves New UV Enhancements

The board unanimously approves the new enhancements to the UV plans. With only slight reservations in the water department, due to concerns raised on how we will handle flooding problems.

In other news, there are now free bagels in the break room.

Work on underwater villa in progress

buised ghosts

and you look for light
in the blurry night
when home is hardly a word

New Consultant

A new consultant will be in on Friday to teach everyone how to fake sincerity in their work and personal lives.

First plans of the Underwater Villa Project

The first plans of UVP have been drafted and are presented below.

Desks of the departed

For those of the workers who were escorted out yesterday, their desks and personal possessions are now considered fair game.

I already got the plush leather chair.

WARNING! Important health information

Our long running human resources project on improving employee health have found that stress related strokes are most common the first two hours after lunch. After evaluatiing this information, we have decided in the interest of the health of our employess to strongly recommend anyone feeling anxious, stressed and possibly with a pressure over his chest to skip lunch.

Organizational announcement

Dear co-workers,

Some random surveys indicate that we're seeing some tough times ahead with a declining increase of operating margins. To please our shareholders we need to take action; some of you will unfortunately have to leave the company. Security will escort those affected out of the building. Please try to ignore if someone makes a scene, it will only add to their disgrace.

If you receive this PM you are not affected by the lay-offs. This information is confidential, for the sake of company security and SOX compliance please refrain from discussing this information with anyone.

Have a nice day,

The Management

Conference call Memo

The conference call next Tuesday is Optional.

Look forward to seeing everyone.

PMA group

Independent Auditors

Independent auditors will be in this Tuesday, which upsets me because they are always better dressed than staff. The auditors study office fashion. I know, coz I worked for an auditor once and there was link a desk mint every day starting work.

P16ink4a again

Roles of p15Ink4b and p16Ink4a in myeloid differentiation and RUNX1-ETO-associated acute myeloid leukemia

w00t
http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=2430055

Also, this video? Awesome!

Our Product Line

Talks are underway on our PMA product line, due out this fall. We are just working out a few glitches with marketing, but the tests are running very very good. So exciting to get the word out!

Those bastards down at legal

They keep pushing for a dental plan.

The bastards. Their jobs and their cushy lifestyles are on the line here.

Life isn't all roses outside of the meeting agenda memo world, legal.
Except for Phil, who is a pretty nice guy, and we need at least one guy in legal to help handle the other legal.

Sales - Earning a skill without comprimising integrity

Robert Kiyosaki says most talented people are just one skill away from riches, and that skill is sales.

But what is the nature of that skill? What is the line between selling value to people and selling out?

You may start a store and sell goods for 5 times what you paid for them, and you may feel wrong about that. On the other hand, you may work for someone, selling those goods to people at the same price, and feel just fine. Why is this?

The key to success in sales, to making it work for you, is to do what you honestly enjoy, with sincerity, and integrity, but also not lose perspective on the other side. Like anything in life, it can't be forced, and it can't be over thought. You have to work at it, and find a way to pull it off naturally. No sales will lead you to be overlooked, even purely altruistic wikis have to market themselves. Too much sales is to be a faker, a sell out, the milli vanilli of the world.

Balance in subtle sales is to be part of the googles of the world.

Purple Monkey Apricots

Welcome to purple monkey apricot, the web magazine.

Future projects will include
1. Indie band in Japan
2. Another Magazine
3. Website on failure
4. Underwater villa subdivision
5. Watch design company
6. Hybridizing purple monkeys with apricots

Also Göran should sign up now.